Monthly Archives: July, 2015

Rehydrating After the Gym: Why Popular Sports Drinks Fail to Impress My German Wife

I don’t get the purpose of Gatorade either. Water. Just Water.

Oh God, My Wife Is German.

Gatorade Sports Drinks v.s. Evian Water “Wait, so sugar and salt work BETTER than water? That totally makes sense.” — Image Credit: Anna Hirsch (https://www.flickr.com/photos/antigone/) — Subject to CC 2.0 License.

As you probably know, I’m an American expat and freelance graphic designer working from my home office in the city of Hannover, Germany. Like a lot of self-employed creative types, I am a spiteful little shut-in with introverted tendencies and a general sense of loathing for the bright, colorful world outside my nest of shadows. (Imagine a black-cloaked Nosferatu-type cringing in pain from the merciless gaze of the sun: “Hissssssss…”)

When I do manage to gather the willpower necessary to leave the house, it is only so I can go exercise at our local German gym. And since I make my own hours, I can do this whenever the hell I want. My poor wife, however, is a Gymnasium teacher; she’s gone…

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Ultimate Buffalo 2015

The Ultimate Buffalo is a 7,5 – 15 kilometer obstacle run. It is a byword for runners and athletes over a wide spectrum of disciplines. Naturally, there were a few teams going from the Box, but being a candyass, I decided I’d just be an enthusiastic spectator this year and take photos. I was thrilled with my decision when I woke to a gray sky punctuated with a determined drizzle that was bound to last through the afternoon.

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Still, at noon I packed my camera and a tiny umbrella and rode out to the old Twenthe airport.

The old airport is a bone of contention in local government. A former military installation, important during the Cold War, later a dual function airport for commercial and military flights, it has not been used since December 2007. Nobody seems to know best how to repurpose the ground. Some want it re-opened for commercial flights, but with three major commercial airports within spitting distance, the likelihood of making it profitable is nil. There were some calling for development of yet another business park, but there’s an overabundance of empty business parks since the last financial crash, so that was a non-starter. Lately it has been used for a number of outdoor and sporting events and this seems to work well for everybody. It provided a super location for the Ultimate Buffalo.

Upon arriving I was surprised with the sight of live buffalo!

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Cool or what?

After that I just followed the noise toward Hanger 11. Despite the rain, there was a party atmosphere.

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I didn’t venture much further than the final three obstacles because of the rain (told you I ‘m a candyass). The final obstacle, THE FINISH WALL was really impressive.

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Favorite topics of our Crossfit coach include the importance of “team spirit”, “teamwork” , “sense of community”. He often brings these things up while we are doing activities requiring a lot of concentration, like overhead squats, or after a WOD which leaves everybody in prostrate, sweaty, quivering masses on the ground. I think he hopes more than trusts that we are listening. Well Coach, it sunk in. When the participants in the Buffalo Run got to The Wall, I got to photograph this in action.

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The athletes weren’t just busy helping their team up and over, there were plenty of hands reached out and leg- ups given to members of other teams too. There I was, snapping photos of our teams as they came in, and my friend, M. walked off the parcours right before The Wall and said she was finished. She was not going to take The Wall. Had enough. The other teams from our Box weren’t having any of that. They marched her in a phalanx back to The Wall. With a little help from her friends and an enormous personal courage M. didn’t shred the gnar. She obliterated the gnar. She took The Wall. BAM!

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* All photos are my own.

Nice Day for a White Wedding

Ahhh, nice. Bring on the weddings.

After a half year of funerals (4), the weddings are on the rise. Since our box is mostly kids (under 40s) — heads up to my fellow over 40’s Hans, Hans, Herman, Simone- there will, of course be weddings. Last Saturday it was Rick and Carina’s turn.

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To celebrate we did the Wedding Special WOD (otherwise known as Chipper) today:

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WOD: “Wedding Special”
For time:
Run, 400 m
80 Air Squats
70 Push-up (hand release)s
60 Sit-up (butterfly)s
50 Pull-ups
40 Power Cleans, 40/25 kg
30 Burpees (Deze zijn speciaal voor Jasper die vandaag zijn 30e verjaardag viert!!)

Three months ago, I’d have given the Monday training a miss and decided to go on Tuesday. It’s a scary WOD. I didn’t even realize it was Chipper in disguise and if I had, I may have bailed at the last minute, but I didn’t. Something weird is happening. I am starting to think like a crossfitter. Instead of: Tough WOD? Crap! Bellyache-Hide under the Blanket-Tears, I’m thinking: Tough WOD? Let’s see what I can do.


Setting up my work-station, I grabbed a 10 kg. bumper plate to hold my feet in place on the sit-ups, which are not quite there yet. The coach says, “Hey! Whoa there, you might be a bit enthusiastic with so much weight for the power cleans.” I tell him it’s for the sit ups and set an empty barbell ready for the power cleans. That wasn’t good either. I reminded him of my age. He told me to “Fuck that shit.”I added two 5 kg. bumper plates to the barbell without too much grumbling. 35 strict pushups, which is a personal record for me, and 35 modified on the box, still doing the ring rows instead of pull-ups…

I finished. Last one in  34:13