Sally is my BFF
Planned to go for a workout yesterday, but woke up grouchy and still sore from Monday’s WOD, so I stretched like Stretch Armstrong for a good half hour. My flexibility is about nil this days and I figure it’s a goat worth exploring as I’ve given up on pull ups because my grip is shot and boxjumps as well. People kept looking askance at my husband when I’d show up with gashes in my shins. I couldn’t do this to him any longer, he really is a lovely man. I’ve been following Bowflex fitness on Youtube and I like their 5 minute full body stretch to warm up, then I add some yoga stretches and some (modified) wild Pilates moves I picked up this summer. Luckily no one can see me while I do this.
Rolled out of bed this morning determined to make it to the Box (and avoid the guys building our new carport– I love them but it’s been a week and I need a break). Following a quick oatmeal breakfast, flew out the door (without a coat) and made it to the Box in record time, about 20 minutes too early. Since the weather’s turned chilly and wet, I waited in the car. Without coffee, anything to read, or my phone, I was bored and tempted to sing along with the radio but soon my fellow crossfitters started arriving and the world was spared a banshee trauma.
When I heard we were doing the Bear Complex for strength, I could have done a (theoretical) backflip and I very nearly broke into song (banshee or no) when it was clear that today’s WOD would be my old bff, Sally. It seems I was the only one. Oh well, thems paybacks for all the HIIT and core work we’ve been doing lately and which are very hard for me, is all I’m saying.
Paired up at first with Barbell Goddess Leonie for the Bear Complex and was again confronted by the fact that my strength is not what it was. Hit 37.5 kilos and that was all she wrote. Left Leonie to her own devices and max, and teamed up with another group. Result:
5x 1
35-37.5-32.5-35-35
Sally…you gotta love her, and I do, truly, madly, deeply. Once on vacation, Moby’s “Flowers” came drifting out of somewhere and purely by instinct and much to the amusement of my family, I dropped to a squat. Paging Dr. Pavlov for the psychiatric unit… Used a 25 kilo barbell today. R-friggin’ x. Thinking about going heavier next time, just for fun.
Altogether, I am happy with my sport regimen this week. If it is not raining too hard tomorrow, there’s a window of opportunity for a quick run too. I’ve been alcohol free since Saturday last, and won’t be hoisting an elbow until our (ahem) Hallowine party this weekend. Feeling good.
Fun!
Reboot
Blogging has been chiefly a place to set my thoughts and ideas free and not think too much about them afterward. I hadn’t ever considered that real people read what I write (with the exception of friends and family members whose arms I twist on occasion). Today I got a comment on my blog (which I haven’t looked at in ages) from someone whose arm that hadn’t been twisted. Where was I? How was I doing? Wow.
I stopped posting a little more than a year ago because frankly, it felt most days like I’d been shot with a tranq gun, hit by a pick-up truck and run over a few times. I was also very much aware of the dangers in identifying too closely with Sjögren’s Syndrome. Becoming my illness was not on the agenda, but what then? Its been a year of self discovery.
When first told that I had Sjögren’s I could have done cartwheels in the consultant’s office for joy. It was not MS! I wasn’t going blind! Hey, you can get old with this thing. The offer of psychological counselling was rejected out of hand. What, me worry? I was as happy as the proverbial clam. As long as neither of my worst case scenarios were happening, I could handle this.
Until I couldn’t.
My Crossfit scores were tanking. Losing stamina for the HIIT workouts was easy to write off to being a woman over 50, but the dramatic loss of strength and the feeling that my hands were constantly being squeezed in a vise were less easy to explain. I’ve been keeping a journal of WODs since beginning Crossfit and the numbers did not lie. I did the stupid thing and started coming up with excuses (some legitimate) not to train.
Outside the Box, I had no energy whatsoever and was developing into a champion napper. I became somewhat reclusive. If anybody should ask me how I was doing, it would be necessary to lie and I didn’t have the energy to keep that up. My fervent hope was that this too would pass. I watched a lot of Netflix.I drank too much wine.
This summer, glorious as it was (we used the pool a lot!) saw me bottom out. At the yearly consult with the Rheumatologist in June, an echogram showed the deterioration of the cartilage in my hands. Oh. So not immortal then. No spontaneous healing. Nope. After a stern lecture on the evils of using Ibuprofen as a structural form of pain relief, an appointment with the nurse specialist was arranged for later in the week and I went home to list my symptoms and gripes and, it has to be said, bawl for a few hours.
The nurse specialist was wonderful. She gave me some new stuff to help combat the dry mouth, told me to practise self-compassion and rest when I needed too. More warnings about Ibuprofen (really only indicated in infection) followed and she also gently suggested talking to a psychologist again. This time I agreed.
What I needed, and got from the counselling was guidance on how to accept this illness without becoming the illness and live the best, most active life I can. It wasn’t a plan whipped out of a Sjögren’s for Dummies. Through about 4 sessions, we addressed my expectations, needs and fears and I began to feel better able to cope.
In the meantime I bagged Crossfit. I just faded out. Didn’t cancel my membership, no drama or anything; I just slipped out the door the first week of July and stayed away. It was good for me. In the time away from the Box, I realized how much I like Crossfit and why; the crew, the community, feeling like a badass for an hour…The weather cooled off and the first week of September saw me back at the Box.
The goal for September was 1 WOD a week and running interval training on two other days. That went well. This month I’m on 2 WODs a week and running interval training on two other days plus stretching every morning. So far so good.
Nuckin' Futz 
Recent Comments